I had a flash of inspiration last night, in the depths of despair that I know so well: that school doesn't teach us what we need for life - to succeed, to survive with dignity. It doesn't teach us how to get a job, how to keep a job, what to do when the job ends (redundancy, end of contract, no more funding). It doesn't teach us how to be financially secure, how to plan for financial security for 5 years, twenty years, fifty years. It doesn't teach us how to support ourselves, or how to support dependents - out of work spouse or children.
It doesn't teach us how to be equal, women to men, men to women. Some (many?) women are still taught subliminally (or explicitly?) that it's a sustainable and expectable path to get married, have children (or not) and be supported by a man. But the days when men were paid a salary that supported a whole family for life, are for many long-gone, and for those that remain, dwindling. The women who think, subliminally, that their income is less important because the man will be the bread winner, are ill-equipped with skills, values and understanding of how to really be equal. This in itself creates inequality.
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I am a PhD graduate with awards for research and teaching, as well as reams of academic, professional, and what is generally called life experience all over the world. I had an excellent education, first at private secondary schools in Switzerland, Hong Kong and Britain, then an undergraduate degree in China and the UK, followed by a Master’s in Austria, and finally a doctorate in Hong Kong and Indonesia. Add to that running an NGO, starting my own company, and working for two blue chip firms. A pretty good base, one would think, for success. Not so. The whole of my adult life has been a struggle, professionally speaking. Getting and keeping a job has been a constant recurring problem. I’ve been made redundant when departments were shut down, hired on one year renewable contracts that predictably expired. I’ve tried all sorts of creative approaches, from starting my own company (I can’t exactly terminate my own employment contract from that, can I?) to reinventing myself through very expensive and intellectually (not to mention physically and emotionally) demanding further education. And here I am, at 41, no pension (cashed that in when I left Hong Kong, to partially fund, but barely make a dent in, my Master’s, for which I am now deeply and probably terminally indebted to my husband and my father), no job, no savings. I am financially entirely dependent on my husband, whose own savings are now dwindling, along with his confidence in a secure, comfortable after-work life. Wait, so what am I saying? It seems like the more qualified, skilled and, frankly, brilliant I get (don't judge me - this trumpet I'm blowing is an ironic one), the narrower my options become. That's not what the 'work hard, be visionary and you can achieve anything' dream sold me..... |
AuthorHow to identify myself... a deeply concerned citizen of a fucked-up world, swinging with circadian regularity between esprit de vie and deep, black despair. PhD, entrepreneur, author, international experience, woman (should I add chromosomes to my list of qualifications....?) Archives
May 2020
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